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Книги автора: Terry Pratchett

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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
Random House presents the audiobook edition of Father Christmas's Fake Beard by Terry Pratchett, rea…
Random House presents the audiobook edition of Father Christmas's Fake Beard by Terry Pratchett, read by Julian Rhind-Tutt. Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different?Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit . . . samey.How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store, or was even arrested for burglary!?Dive into the fantastically funny world of Terry Pratchett, for a festive treat like no other. These ten stories will have you laughing, gasping and crying (with laughter) - you'll never see Christmas in the same way again.
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and plac…
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different... Collected together for the first time are seven full-cast BBC Radio dramatisations of Terry Pratchett's novels, with star-studded casts including Martin Jarvis, Sheila Hancock, Anton Lesser, Philip Jackson, Alex Jennings and Mark Heap.Now being published for the very first time, the adaptations in this collection are:MortHopeless young peasant Mort is hired as an apprentice to Death. He'll have free board, use of the company horse, and being dead isn't even compulsory. In fact, it's a dream job - until he discovers that it can be a killer on his love life...Wyrd SistersThree witches meet on a blasted heath. A king is cruelly murdered. A child heir and the kingdom's crown are both missing. But Granny Weatherwax finds that meddling in royal politics is a lot more complicated than certain playwrights would have you believe... Guards! Guards!In Ankh-Morpork, the Haves and the Have-Nots are about fall out. Again. The Night Watch's Captain Vimes is used to this but when the Have-Nots find the key to a lethal, dormant weapon that even they don't understand, he knows it's time so sober up. EricWhen precocious young Eric Thursley summons a demon from the loathsome pit to fulfil his every wish, he wants what everyone wants - immortality, to rule the world, and have the most beautiful woman love him. Instead he gets Rincewind, the Disc's most incompetent wizard. Small GodsOn the Discworld, Gods are as numerous as herring roe, all elbowing for space at the top. In such a competitive environment, you need an acolyte, and fast. For the Great God Om, Brutha is the Chosen One, or at least the only One available...Night WatchLiving in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy, especially when there is a serial killer on the loose who targets coppers. Commander Sam Vimes of the City Watch is back in his own rough, tough past, and he has a job to do.***Bonus Story*** In addition to these Discworld novels, this collection will also include a full-cast dramatisation of Only You Can Save Mankind, from the Johnny Maxwell series. As an alien fleet crosses his computer screen, Johnny prepares to blow the ScreeWee into a million pieces...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
Authorised by Mr Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway himself, Mrs Georgina Br…
Authorised by Mr Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway himself, Mrs Georgina Bradshaw's invaluable guide to the destinations and diversions of the railway deserves a place in the luggage of any traveller, or indeed armchair traveller, upon the Disc.   *From the twine walk of Great Slack to the souks of Zemphis: edifying sights along the route   *Ticketing, nostrums and transporting your swamp dragon: essential hints on the practicalities of travel  * Elegant resorts and quaint inns: respectable and sanitary lodgings for all species and heights.  * From worm-herding to Fustic Cake: diverting trivia on the crafts, foods and brassica traditions of the many industrious people for whom the railway is now a vital link to the Century of the Anchovy  Fully illustrated and replete with useful titbits, Mrs Bradshaw's Handbook offers a view of the Sto Plains like no other.
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
Tiffany Aching, the young witch from The Wee Free Men, A Hat Full of Sky and Wintersmith is back in …
Tiffany Aching, the young witch from The Wee Free Men, A Hat Full of Sky and Wintersmith is back in a new adventure featuring Discworld characters both familiar to fans (such as Tiffany, the Wee Free Men, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg) and new (meet Wee Mad Arthur, the Nac Mac Feegle on the City Watch whose only previous appearance was a brief cameo in Feet of Clay and city witch Mrs Proust - a fabulous Pratchett creation).  Oh, and there's a magic book or two, a twist through time, a Cunning Man - and a Giant Man of chalk...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time …
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a policeman taking a holiday would barely have had time to open his suitcase before he finds his first corpse.And Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch is on holiday in the pleasant and innocent countryside, but not for him a mere body in the wardrobe. There are many, many bodies and an ancient crime more terrible than murder.He is out of his jurisdiction, out of his depth, out of bacon sandwiches, and occasionally snookered and out of his mind, but never out of guile.  Where there is a crime there must be a finding, there must be a chase and there must be a punishment.  They say that in the end all sins are forgiven.But not quite all...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
They say that diplomacy is a gentle art. That mastering it is a lifetime's work. But you do need a c…
They say that diplomacy is a gentle art. That mastering it is a lifetime's work. But you do need a certain inclination in that direction. It's not something you can just pick up on the job.   A few days ago Sam Vimes was a copper - an important copper, true - chief of police - but still, at his core, a policeman. But today he is an ambassador - to the mysterious, fat-rich country of Uberwald. Today, Sam Vimes is also a man on the run.  He has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war. There are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and they're catching up.
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
'Neighbours... hah. People'd live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their wa…
'Neighbours... hah. People'd live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their way to work, and then some trivial thing would happen and someone would be having a garden fork removed from their ear.'Throughout history, there's always been a perfectly good reason to start a war. Never more so if it is over a 'strategic' piece of old rock in the middle of nowhere. It is after all every citizen's right to bear arms to defend what they consider to be their own. Even if it isn't. And in such pressing circumstances, you really shouldn't let small details like the absence of an army or indeed the money to finance one get in the way of a righteous fight with all the attendant benefits of out-and-out nationalism...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be priest.He thought he'd come to the mountain kingdom o…
Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be priest.He thought he'd come to the mountain kingdom of Lancre for a simple little religious ceremony. Now he's caught up in a war between vampires and witches, and he's not sure there is a right side.There's the witches - young Agnes who is really in two minds about everything, Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies, Nanny Ogg who is far too knowing ... and Granny Weatherwax, who is big trouble.And the vampires are intelligent - not easily got rid of with a garlic enema or going to the window, grasping the curtains and saying 'I don't know about you, but isn't it a bit stuffy in here?' They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They're out of the casket and want a bite of the future.Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he had an axe.
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
'Things have to come to an end, see. That's how it works when you turn the world into stories. You s…
'Things have to come to an end, see. That's how it works when you turn the world into stories. You should never have done that. You shouldn't treat people like they was characters, like they was things. But if you do, then you've got to know where the story ends.'That's the problem when you let real life get in the way of a good story. You shouldn't let it happen. Especially when a good story involves three witches, including a fairy godmother, travelling to a faraway land to make sure that a servant girl doesn't marry a prince. It looks as though a happy ending may be averted before catastrophe strikes. But unfortunately the forces of good are up against a Godmother who has made Destiny an offer it can't refuse...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
'When you start believing in Spirits, you start believing in demons, and then before you know where …
'When you start believing in Spirits, you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are, you're believing in Gods. And then you're in trouble.'Reality is all very well in small doses. It's a perfectly conventional and convenient way of neutralising the imagination. But sometimes when there's more than one reality at play, imagination just won't be neutralised, and the walls between realities come tumbling down. Unfortunately there's usually a damned good reason for there being walls between them in the first place. To keep things out. Things who want to make mischief and play havoc with the natural order...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folks; it was best to leave all the reigning t…
Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folks; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle.Three witches gathered on a lonely heath. A king cruelly murdered, his throne usurped by his ambitious cousin. A child heir and the crown of the kingdom, both missing. The omens are not auspicious for the new incumbent, for whom ascending this tainted throne is a more complicated affair than you might imagine, particularly when the blood on your hands just won't wash off and you're facing a future with knives in it...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
'What shall we do?' said Twoflower.'Panic?' said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was …
'What shall we do?' said Twoflower.'Panic?' said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival.As it moves towards a seemingly inevitable collision with a malevolent red star, the Discworld could do with a hero. What it doesn't need is a singularly inept and cowardly wizard, still recovering from the trauma of falling off the edge of the world, or a well-meaning tourist and his luggage which has a mind (and legs) of its own. Which is a shame because that's all there is...
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Язык: Английский
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idi…
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idiot.Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place which might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. It plays by different rules. Certainly it refuses to succumb to the quaint notion that universes are ruled by pure logic and the harmony of numbers.But just because the Disc is different doesn't mean that some things don't stay the same. Its very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the arrival of the first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land. But if the person charged with maintaining that survival in the face of robbers, mercenaries and, well, Death is a spectacularly inept wizard, a little logic might turn out to be a very good idea...The Colour of Magic is the first novel in Terry Pratchett's acclaimed Discworld series, of which some 20 million copies have been sold. This special hardcover edition is reissued to commemorate the twenty-first anniversary of its first publication by Colin Smythe Limited in 1983. Since then the Discworld has spawned a further thirty-one titles and become one of the most popular and celebrated sequences in English literature.
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
All this books and stuff, that isn't what it should all be about. What we need is real wizardry.All …
All this books and stuff, that isn't what it should all be about. What we need is real wizardry.All is not well within the Unseen University. The endemic politics of the place have ensured that it has finally got what it wished for: the most powerful wizard on the disc. Which could mean that the death of all wizardry is at hand. And the world is going to end, depending on whom you listen to. Unless of course one inept wizard can take the University's most precious artefact, the very embodiment of magic itself, and deliver it halfway across the disc to safety...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
'Look after the dead', said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.'Wise words in all probab…
'Look after the dead', said the priests, 'and the dead will look after you.'Wise words in all probability, but a tall order when you have just become the pharaoh of a small and penniless country whose largesse - and indeed treasury - is unlikely to stretch to the building of a monumental pyramid to honour your dead father. And particularly when your only visible means of support is a recently acquired qualification from the Guild of Assassins where running a kingdom and basic financial acumen were not prerequisites for course entry...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
'Holy wood is a different sort of place. People act differently here. Everywhere else the most impor…
'Holy wood is a different sort of place. People act differently here. Everywhere else the most important things are gods or money or cattle. Here, the most important thing is to be important.'People might say that reality is a quality that things possess in the same way that they possess weight. Sadly alchemists never really held with such a quaint notion. They think that they can change reality, shape it to their own purpose. Imagine then the damage that could be wrought if they get their hands on the ultimate alchemy: the invention of motion pictures, the greatest making of illusions. It may be a triumph of universe-shaking proportions. It's either that or they're about to unlock the dark terrible secret of the Holy Wood hills - by mistake...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
'The people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have so…
'The people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor I don't know who is.'An aura of mean-minded resentfulness is thick in the streets of Ankh-Morpork. Insurrection is in the air. The Haves and Have-Nots are about to fall out all over again. The Have-Nots want some of their own magic. But magic in the hands of amateurs is a dangerous thing.The City Watch is the last line of defence against such unnatural goings-on. But when even the Watch have trouble telling Right from Wrong, you know that Law and Order ain't what it used to be. But that's all about to change...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ign…
They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.There are some situations where the correct response is to display the sort of ignorance which happily and wilfully flies in the face of the facts. In this case, the birth of a baby girl, born a wizard - by mistake. Everybody knows that there's no such thing as a female wizard. But now it's gone and happened, there's nothing much anyone can do about it. Let the battle of the sexes begin...
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all.But now he's back in his own rough, to…
Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all.But now he's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck...Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down a murderer, teach his younger self how to be a good copper and change the outcome of a bloody rebellion.There's a problem:if he wins, he's got no wife, no child, no future...A Discworld Tale of One City, with a full chorus of street urchins, ladies of negotiable affection, rebels, secret policemen and other children of the revolution.Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a Hard-boiled Egg!
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Год выхода: 2019
Язык: Английский
It begun as a sudden strange fancy . . .Polly Perks had to become a boy in a hurry. Cutting off her …
It begun as a sudden strange fancy . . .Polly Perks had to become a boy in a hurry. Cutting off her hair and wearing trousers was easy. Learning to fart and belch in public and walk like an ape took more time . . .And now she's enlisted in the army, and searching for her lost brother.But there's a war on. There's always a war on. And Polly and her fellow recruits are suddenly in the thick of it, without any training, and the enemy is hunting them.All they have on their side is the most artful sergeant in the army and a vampire with a lust for coffee. Well . . . they have the Secret. And as they take the war to the heart of the enemy, they have to use all the resources of . . . the Monstrous Regiment.
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